Never alone
by SuperCumbercollective
Summary: JJ wakes up , again, after a terrible nightmare and is totally shocked. Hotch tries his best to calm her down and give her a chance to get back to sleep now that she's safe again. JJ/Hotch Jotch Trigger warnings: Mention of self harm ( cutting) and suicide. Be safe my pretties.


**A/N: There is a personal reason I wrote this story, which I explain better on the end of this story if you're curious to find out.**

 **Trigger warnings: Mentions of self harm ( cutting) and suicide.**

 **Be safe my!**

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 **Never Alone**

"No!" She gasped as she jumped up from the bed completely out of breath. Shaking and covered in cold sweat JJ looked around the hotel room. She was surer he could hear his laugh filling the room, even though he knew that man was dead. Been over a year, thanks to her boss, and her boyfriend, who shot him as he and his team came to save her. Tivor Askari, the man who has been haunting her since that day.

She was shaking, she was crying and her arms ached. There was nothing there on her arms as she looked at them, but she was sure she felt her arms bleeding hard. As she was watching her aching arms she noticed she was squeezing the bed sheets on her hands. She snapped out of it, released her sheets from the tight shaky and jumped up.

"Aaron?" she pointed her beg to the sleeping man on her couch. They had solved a new case but they couldn't go home that late night (or early morning could be better expression). He had fallen asleep to the couch while he was doing the final report of this case.

Hotch woke up quite quick, rubbing his sleepy eyes he leans to his elbows on top of his knees. He turns to look at the blonde behind him where he was sure the call came from. No word needed to be said before he had already jumped up from the couch and took long steps towards her.

"I…" she sobbed silently. She was too shocked and scared to form words. She just stood there crying not exactly sure if she should do or say something. Hotch came closer to her and without saying a word, or expecting her to say anything, he pulled her into a hug.

"Shh."he held her close feeling how her tears wet his shirt. "It's gonna be okay. You're okay now. I'm right here." He whispered to her soothingly running hand on her back.

At some point he got her to sit down to the bed sitting himself right next to. At any point did he not pushed her away or took his hand away from hers. She had wrapped her arms tightly to his waist and buried face to his chest. He softly fondled her long blonde hair. He tried his everything trying to get her to calm down.

An hour and so many comforting words later she was pretty calm. She wasn't shaking as badly as she was earlier and breathing seemed to be a little easier to her.

"Jeyje?" He whispered to her gently watching her back off a bit from him, just enough to look at him in the eye. "What happened?"

"A nightmare." She mutters looking down her arms which still felt like they were covered in blood. Her own blood.

"Like the earlier ones?" He softly wiped the floating tear from her cheek with his thumb. At first she didn't say a word. She didn't find words. "JJ?" his voice was so kind and gentle. She's been suffering from nightmares about the time she was abducted by Tivor Askari and Michael Hastings, but she knew those were only dreams and that it was all over now. But this dream was nothing like those. This was so much more realistic and true.

She slowly shook her head as she found no words.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Aaron put his warm hand on top of hers giving it a small squeeze. "Please. I can't help you if I don't know what is going on."

Two big tears rolled down on her white, pale cheeks before she opened her mouth to talk. "It.. it was nothing like those I've had before. This was so much worse and it felt so real."

"Sweetheart, what happened?"

Her voice became shivering and small. "I saw myself killing myself" she had glued her gaze down her arm noticing how his body language changed. If he wasn't worried before, he surely was now.

"Jeyje.." He started but got cut off by the blonde.

"Just, please. Let me finish." She whispered seeing his hands holding her smaller ones on his. They were warm and gentle. "I saw myself cutting myself, and every time that blade cut another cut to my arms I heard a reason why I should keep going. Every time from a different person. I heard my sister, my mom, Tivor. _You."_ The last one came out so small it barely was audible. She raised her head up meeting the beautiful brown eyes of his. " I cut myself 17 times before I died and woke up."

"Jennifer, listen to me. It's was just a dream. Nothing more. It wasn't real. You're okay now. You hear me?" one of his arms swiped few blond hair - which seemed to be lost on her face – behind her ear sliding hand then to her jawline. Thumb ran across her wet cheek slowly and assuring.

Her eyes closed tiredly while she leaned to the familiar touch. "I can still feel my arms bleeding. It doesn't seem to stop."

Hotch turned to look down her arms. He swiped his thumbs on wrists softly then raising them a bit, just so he reached to kiss them. Few kisses gently placed to her right wrist and few to the forearm. Then same with her another hand. He put her hand down back to her lap before reaching to kiss her to her soft, red lips. "It's okay. There are nothing there." He pressed his forearm to hers smiling softly.

"I know. Thank you." She responded to his smile behind her teary eyes.

"Now, please. Let's get you back to sleep okay?" He pulled back slowly seeing how she became so tense. But before she got chance to respond Hotch smile to her assuring. "I promise, I will be right next to you the whole night and wake you up if you have a nightmare again. I won't leave your side before you wake up later this morning. Okay?"

Small smile reached back to her lips. "Promise?"

" I promise."

JJ crawled back to bed under the white covers. Aaron got right next to her wrapping arms around her. She got as close as possible and rested her head on his chest listening his calm heartbeat. Around him she has always felt somehow safer than ever. She is strong herself, she can and will fight if necessary, she is confident and strong woman, but around him she feels different. It has always been like that. All those 11 years she has known him, and it has only got stronger in these two years as they have been together.

"Aaron?" She said now sounding more her normal self. She leaned to his chest following his arm as it soothingly stroke her arm and his other arm wrapped around her waist.

"Hm?" He looked down at her giving a quick kiss on top of her head.

"Can you talk to me?"

"About?"

"Anything. I just want to hear your voice." She slowly closed her eyes trying best she can to relax on his arms.

And he talked. About anything and everything to just happened to flow on his mind. He told her about how Jack had called him earlier and told him about their football games and how he had done two scores. And how he had got A from his math exam. He told her about everything he could think about that moment.

Not so long after he started talking he noticed that she had fallen asleep on his arms. And he kept his promised. He stayed awake fondling her hair gently and just looking at her sleep. At anypoint did he let himself fall asleep even though he was tired too. But he kept himself awake, fondling her long blonde hair and stroking her arms slowly, until it was 8 am and she was starting to wake up.

"Morning sunshine." He smiled at her and reached to give her a quick kiss to her lips.

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 **A/N: Okay, so I think I promised to explain this idea. The thing is that this conversation, all this happened to me last night and I just shifted it to a shape of a fanfiction. This conversation happened between me and my boyfriend, that dream was exact with what I saw.**

 **I've been going through so much lately that I feel like I'm crashing under all this if there was no him or two of the greatest friends anyone can have. I have somehow managed, tumbled way too many times. But it ain't over yet, I can say you that much. And I've had so awful few weeks now that I just couldn't sat myself behind my keyboard and type, my apologies. I try my best to update my stories as often as I can, but I hope you now understand if it takes me awhile to get that done, so please be patient with me.**

 **And you have no idea what all these reviews and comments and messages have meant to me. One review can seriously save my day, and I'd hope you keep doing that. It means so much to me.**


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